


Dracarys

by fanetjuh



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Episode: s08e05 The Bells, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-05 12:22:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18828607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanetjuh/pseuds/fanetjuh
Summary: Daenerys hears the bells and sees the Lannister army surrendering and yet she feels empty and hollow. A million thoughts go through her head and those thoughts eventually make her snap.





	Dracarys

The ringing of the bells and the sound of the deafening silence clash with the adrenaline rushing through my veins. My heart beats in synch with the swords, clattering on the dirty ground of King’s Landing. 

I know this is it. This is the moment I’ve been dreaming of my entire life. This is what I wanted, what I lived for, why I traveled through Essos and convinced the Dothraki to cross the sea. This is what I deserve, what’s mine, what should have been mine for years already.

And yet I feel nothing but emptiness and hollowness. I don’t feel euphoria or happiness. I don’t feel relief that I didn’t have to destroy the entire city and kill thousands of people. I don’t feel anything at all. 

Is this truly it? Is this the end of that long road? Is this where all my pain and worries, all those moments of betrayal, all those fights and all those battles lead to? Is this what I was always destined to do?

I let my eyes wander over the crowd. I see the Lannister army, defeated and looking at me and my dragon with wide open eyes and fear in their glances. 

How often have they done this already? How often have they changed sides? How many of them have once been loyal to my father? Then to Robert? And then to Joffrey and Tommen or one of the other kings who had tried to rule this kingdom? How many of them would switch sides again if someone else comes along? How many of them would pick Jon if he would reveal who he truly is? If he all of a sudden decides that he does want to be king after all?

I look at him, how he stands there in the middle of the front row, keeping the others back, commanding them as if he is their leader, as if I’m not their general. 

Even the unsullied look at him and listen to him. How long until they too will believe that he would be a better king? Just like Varys, just like Tyrion, even though he told her he was still loyal to her, just like the Wildlings and the Northern armies, just like everyone who knows Jon.

Of course they love him.

I love him.

I loved him.

I loved them all. 

That’s why I freed them. That’s why I fought against the night king. That’s why I came here to fight today.

I love them.

I loved them.

And yet, no one is capable of truly loving me back. No one sees how hard I try to be different. No one sees how I fight all my instincts, how I control my impulses, how I do everything I can to keep my dragon in check. 

They don’t love me.

They only fear me. Just like they fear Cersei. Just like they feared my father. And no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do or say, they keep doubting me. As if they’re waiting for me to snap. As if they want me to snap. As if they know that I’m gonna lose it.

Two people. There were only two people who really loved me, who really believed in me, who really were loyal to me. And both of them were dead now. 

And no one had done anything. No one had tried anything. No one had fought for them.

Why aren't they cheering for me? Chanting for me? Kneeling for me? Why aren’t they celebrating and singing and praising me? Why are they just staring at me, with those big eyes?

They don’t want me.

Of course they don’t want me. 

My own people don’t want me. Tyrion doesn’t want me. Varys doesn’t want me. And even Jon doesn’t want me anymore, not like he used to want me. 

No one wants me.

But if they don’t want the best version of me.

They can get my worst.

And they can’t blame me for it. I didn’t bring them here to be a human shield. I’m not the tyrant using them as dragon bait.

I came here to free them.

And they just don’t want it.

So they won’t get it. They will simply get what they came for. Cersei will get what she hoped for. Sansa will see who she wanted to see all this time already.

Because I am a dragon. I am fire and blood. I am a Targaryen.

And I will bring them hell.


End file.
